Freda and Derek’s story*

When Mary’s parents, Freda and Derek, were both diagnosed with Alzheimer’s within three months of each other, her world changed overnight. As their only local daughter, balancing full-time work while trying to support two people with increasingly complex care needs became unsustainable.

“At first, we were with another agency, but they just weren’t flexible,” Mary explains. “If I needed to change arrangements or request more support, it was always difficult. Things reached a crisis point, and I was referred to Nexus by a social worker who had seen good results with them before.”

That referral marked the beginning of a very different care experience.

“From the moment I rang, Nexus were on it. Steve came out to the house and sat down with us straight away. Within a week, we had carers starting, and they even managed the transition from the old agency smoothly, which was a huge relief.”

Freda and Derek’s care started with simple medication support and morning and evening visits to make sure they took their prescribed drugs. Over the past 18 months, that care has grown in step with their needs.

“We now have a regular carer who comes in three times a week and takes them out for lunch, to appointments, or just for a change of scenery,” says Mary. “It’s made a big difference to their quality of life. They don’t really go out unless someone takes them, so the companionship and social interaction are vital.”

One of the biggest challenges Mary faced early on was her parents’ resistance to accepting help. “In the beginning, I’d get phone calls from Mum and Dad saying, ‘We don’t want these people here.’ It was hard. But with patience, on both my part and Nexus’s, the carers became familiar faces. Now, Mum even lets them cook meals, which she couldn’t do before, even though she still believes she’s cooking herself!”

Crucially, the consistency of care has helped Freda and Derek feel safe. “There are about three or four core carers, and while my parents might not remember names because of the dementia, they are clearly comfortable with them,” Mary says. “That’s what matters.”

Flexibility has been a recurring theme in Mary’s experience with Nexus. “If I need to cancel a visit because I’m around, or my sister’s visiting from London, I just give 24 hours’ notice and it’s sorted. No fuss. They scale care up or down depending on what we need, and it’s more often up these days.”

While Mary is pleased with the services provided by Nexus, she shares a moment of them going above and beyond that meant a great deal to her. “There was a power cut while one of the carers was with Mum and Dad. I was heading away that day and couldn’t get there, but the carer stayed until the power was back on. She didn’t have to, but she did. That’s the kind of reassurance you can’t put a price on.”

Nexus has also brought stability and structure to a very unpredictable situation. “Dementia is a constant process of adaptation,” says Mary. “We’ll have weeks where things are fine, and then suddenly everything turns on its head. Having carers who understand that and who know that care has to change day by day is invaluable.”

“They understand dementia,” she adds. If a carer doesn’t suit Mum and Dad, I can say so, and they’ll make sure that person doesn’t return. There’s never any resistance. They listen.”

For Mary, the difference Nexus has made is simple but profound: “I wouldn’t be able to work if I didn’t have them. Full stop. Their care allows me to support my parents while still keeping some part of my life for myself.”

Asked whether she would recommend Nexus, Mary doesn’t hesitate. “I already have. I tell people, if you want good care, genuinely good care, talk to Nexus. They’ve made an enormous difference to our family, and I’ll always be grateful for that.”

*Names have been changed to protect identities.